Moms share important questions, advice for women expecting first child

Grace Trahan-Rodecap and her husband Joe pose with their children for a family photo at Christmas. In the front row are Grace, left, Christian and Rachel. In the back row are Nicholas, left, and Joe. (Submitted photo)

(In anticipation of Mother’s Day, The Criterion is inviting moms to share the advice you would give to a woman expecting her first child—and/or the best advice someone has ever given you about being a mom. Here is the second story in this series.)
 

By John Shaughnessy

Her advice for women expecting their first child comes with important questions to consider.

“You are expecting your child, and with that naturally come expectations of how your child will be, what kind of mother you will be, how you and your husband will parent together,” says Ute Eble, a mother of four and the director of catechesis for the archdiocese.

“My advice is to move away from expectations to a discovery mindset. What kind of gift has God given me with this child? Who am I as a mother? What is easy for me, what is hard for me? How is my husband as a dad, and what does that mean for our relationship?”

Those questions are among the ones that she and her husband Joe have considered and lived as they’ve guided the lives of their children, who now range in age from 18 to 11.

A member of Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish in Indianapolis with her family, Eble also offers this thought for all moms:

“Nothing is more stressful than the gap between our expectations and reality. But when you gradually and acceptingly discover who your baby really is in his or her personality and gifts—but also his or her needs—and how you and your husband are together as parents, you will develop a sense of gratitude for God’s gift and the ability to respond trustingly to challenges.

“And no matter what life throws at you, remember: It is always just a phase!”

‘Don’t try to be perfect; just be present’

Grace Trahan-Rodecap offers equally valuable advice, from the perspective of parenting three children—ages 24, 22 and 20—with her husband Joe.

“You will make mistakes, and that’s OK,” says Trahan-Rodecap, the director of marketing at Cathedral High School in Indianapolis. “Don’t try to be perfect; just be present. Spend time with your child—the years go by fast. Read, laugh and pray together every day.”

A member of St. Monica Parish in Indianapolis with her family, Trahan-Rodecap also shares an emphasis that she made with her children.

“Hug your child and tell them you love them. Don’t assume they know; say the words. Remind them that God loves them, too.

“Children are precious gifts. Be thankful for them every day!”
 

(The Criterion is continuing to invite our readers to share their thoughts, tributes and stories about motherhood from two perspectives. First, if you are a mom, what’s one piece of advice you would give to a woman who is expecting her first child—and/or the best advice someone has ever given you about being a mom? Second, share your thoughts, tributes and stories about how your mother’s influence has shaped you, your faith and your life—and/or share how you have strived to shape your children’s faith and lives. Please send your submissions to John Shaughnessy by e-mail at jshaughnessy@archindy.org or by mail in care of The Criterion, 1400 N. Meridian St., Indianapolis, IN 46202. Please include your parish and a daytime phone number where you can be reached.) †