April 10, 2026

Our Works of Charity / David Bethuram

Connection formed between moms shows adoption is a loving option

David Bethuram

Jillian knows that there have been stories like hers—women who have stood where she stood. She was 19 years old when she found out she was pregnant.

She remembered she was scheduled to take her first college freshman final that morning, but instead she took a very different kind of test. When the result appeared, her knees hit the floor. She went numb as tears rolled down her cheeks—tears of fear, shock and uncertainty. When she finally gathered the strength to tell her parents, they were stunned.

It took time for Jillian to adjust to how drastically her life was about to change. She felt like a child herself—how could she possibly be having a baby? She said she lost her faith for a while. Depression set in, and she stopped eating the way she should. Night after night, she cried herself to sleep. Then one night, lying awake in the dark, she began to pray. She hadn’t prayed in months. That night, she slept more soundly than she had in a long time.

Jillian and her family prayed over an option that felt unclear and overwhelming, yet strangely right: adoption. She ultimately decided to work with an adoption agency. That decision led her to one of our Catholic Charities agencies, where she was connected with our adoption and pregnancy services.

When Jillian chose to place her son, she said the last thing she did was “give up.” She chose adoption in the middle of her pregnancy because she knew he needed a mom and a dad. He needed a strong Catholic home. He needed more than she felt she could give him at that time. She was terrified, knowing this choice meant living without her son. It meant putting his needs before her own.

Jillian knew that if she didn’t make this decision, her life would be different—not necessarily terrible, just different. She may never have met her wonderful husband. She may not have the faith she has today. She may never have been able to share her story as a birth mother. She wouldn’t know the two incredible people she now calls her son’s parents. And she wouldn’t get to spoil her son in the special way only a birth mother can—her favorite part of all.

The day she placed her son into the arms of his parents was the day she became a birth mom. It was also the day his parents became a mommy and daddy. Jillian says she now shares the title of “mother” with another woman, connected by a bond no one else can fully understand. She believes that placing her son meant stepping into the presence of true love—turning an unplanned situation into a gift for everyone involved.

Jillian says placing her son never meant he was unloved or unwanted. She prayed long before he was born. She believes God turned a mess into a message. Before his parents left with him, Jillian and her son’s mother shared an embrace that is almost impossible to describe—a moment between two women who became mothers in very different ways, joined together by a very big love and one tiny little boy.

Jillian says they will forever be linked in a unique and unforgettable way. She loves her son’s mother for the way she loves him, and his mother loves Jillian for the irreplaceable gift she gave their family.

To this day, when Jillian hugs her son’s mother, she feels it is a hug built on love, trust and motherhood—a silent way of thanking each other and praising God for what he has done.

“One of the things we deeply appreciated about Catholic Charities’ adoption services was the counseling. Not only did we receive counseling that allowed us to talk through our history and our parenting philosophies, but it also gave the social worker a chance to truly know us,” the adoptive parents said. “Jillian’s birth mother also received counseling, which meant so much to us. We were grateful she had a safe space to process her situation, and we respected Catholic Charities’ respect for her. It reassured us that her decision to make an adoption plan was truly her own—not something anyone pushed onto her.”
 

(David Bethuram is executive director of the archdiocesan Secretariat for Catholic Charities. You can contact him at dbethuram@archindy.org.) †

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