Pope’s theme for spouses, families: ‘Be missionary disciples’—and Church should help

Leigh and Benjamin Sargeant and their five children—Rose in front, with Peter, left, Dominic and Samuel behind her, and Isaiah, held by Leigh—serve as an image of the family as a “domestic Church” as they pose in Memorial Plaza in Indianapolis on July 20, 2024, after adoration there during the National Eucharistic Congress. (File photo by Natalie Hoefer)

By Natalie Hoefer

When Gabriela Ross and her fiancé were preparing for the sacrament of marriage, they had a unique and memorable opportunity—the engaged couple worshiped at the closing Mass of the 2015 World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia.

The celebrant was unique and memorable, too: the Holy Father, Pope Francis.

His homily left a lasting impression on Ross.

“As a young adult preparing to enter into my vocation of marriage and family life, I remember listening to Pope Francis and having a clear sense that families were about going on mission,” she recalls. “That marriage was not just for myself and my spouse to be happy, but also that we had an important role to play in our family, neighborhood and in the life of the Church.”

Ross felt called to help spouses and families live out that mission. The married mother of two is now in her sixth year heading the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life.

In this article, Ross reflects on Pope Francis’ overarching messages on—and to—married couples and families, as seen through writings and actions during his pontificate.

‘Primary agents of evangelization’

Pope Francis addressed marriage and family life throughout his papacy. But the focus he gave the topic particularly in his first few years seems to indicate a sense of urgency:

• He convened a rare, extraordinary (not regularly scheduled) meeting of the Synod of Bishops in 2014 to focus on families and evangelization—only the third extraordinary assembly since the Synod of Bishops was established in 1965.
• He offered 30 general audience talks on the family between December 2014 and September 2015 that were gathered into a book called The Family: The World’s Generating Force.
• He attended each of the World Meeting of Families during his pontificate: Philadelphia in 2015, Dublin in 2018 and Rome in 2022.
• He set “the vocation and mission of the family in the Church and in the contemporary world” as the theme of the ordinary meeting of the Synod of Bishops in October 2015.
• He canonized Louis and Marie-Azélie “Zélie” Martin, the parents of St. Therese of Lisieux, in October 2015—the first time a husband and wife were canonized together.
• He wrote “Amoris Laetitia” (“Joy of Love”), a post-synod apostolic exhortation “on love in the family,” in March 2016.

Ross sees something unique from past popes in the message Pope Francis was sending to families.

“He emphasized the need to be missionary disciples, and he certainly included families in that calling,” she says. “While the Church in recent years has celebrated the vocation of the family, Pope Francis in a special way sent them on mission.”

In the first years of his papacy and beyond, says Ross, he “continued to invite families to be primary agents of evangelization within their home and in their neighborhoods, to ‘take up their role as active agents in the family apostolate’ [‘Amoris Laetitia,’ #200].”

‘Church as a field hospital’ for families

That call became a particular focus again when, for the fifth anniversary of “Amoris Laetitia,” Pope Francis declared a Year of the Family from March 19, 2021, through June 26, 2022.

When speaking about the Year of the Family during his Angelus address on Dec. 27, 2020, Pope Francis spoke of the special love within families.

He also admitted that “there are problems, and at times arguments in every family. … But we are human, we are weak, and we all quarrel within the family at times.”

Ross appreciates his openness about marriage and family life. One of her favorite quotes on quarrels between spouses comes from Pope Francis’ address on July 28, 2016, during World Youth Day in Krakow, Poland:

“There are always problems and disagreements in married life. It is normal, it happens that husband and wife argue. They raise their voices, they squabble, and even plates go flying! So don’t be afraid of this when it happens.”

But in such candid admissions, she sees a call for healing.

“I think that Pope Francis did a beautiful job of painting the Church as a field hospital and including the family in that need for healing and forgiveness,” she says. “Pope Francis uniquely entered into the messiness and brokenness of marriage and family life, calling the faithful to trust in God and work toward peace, even in those places. His ability to enter into the broken realities of the human family and call Christians toward courage and hope are some of the lasting lessons that he has left for us through his pontificate.”

Ross sees that message reinforced through the Martins’ 2015 canonization and the first beatification of an entire family in 2023.

The Martins “embodied the mission of the family as a domestic Church, raising a whole joyful family,” says Ross.

But there was pain, too.

“Zelie suffered from child loss and died of breast cancer, and Louis struggled with mental illness later in life,” she says. The couple’s canonization by Pope Francis shows “how the suffering and brokenness of family life can also be a path to holiness.”

The beatification of the Ulma family by Pope Francis in 2023 sends the same message, Ross says. Jozef and Victoria Ulma and their seven children—including one in utero—were martyred in their home in Poland in 1944 for hiding Jews.

‘Authentic accompaniment’

Throughout his papacy, Pope Francis spoke of the need for Christians to accompany others to bring them to an encounter with Christ.

Those two words “were echoed in his teachings on marriage and family,” says Ross.

She cites his promulgation of “Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life,” published in 2022 by the Vatican’s Dicastery for the Laity Family and Life, as an example. It offers guidelines for parishes on providing marriage preparation with “authentic accompaniment of couples ... that would lead to an encounter with Christ and a deepening of that relationship,” Ross explains.

Pope Francis also wrote in the document’s preface of the need for parishes to accompany couples after the wedding.

“This is a form of pastoral accompaniment and truly a moment of ongoing evangelization and catechesis,” says Ross.

She sees the document’s influence in central and southern Indiana.

“Around the archdiocese, I have seen a renewed energy for marriage conferences and parish ministries, as well as family catechesis, and eucharistic adoration holy hours geared toward families with young children,” she says. “I think these are fruits of taking to heart the call to engage families in the life of the Church, as Pope Francis taught us.”

‘Rebel against this culture’

Pope Francis’ messages on married couples and families throughout his papacy—their role as missionary disciples, the holiness that can come through brokenness and suffering, and the need for parish accompaniment to help them encounter Christ—point to the Church’s call for spouses and families to live counter-cultural lives.

Ross remembers sensing that same call as she listened to Pope Francis’ homily during the World Meeting of Families closing Mass nearly 10 years ago.

“A few years later, he wrote the apostolic exhortation, ‘Christus Vivit’ [‘Christ Lives’],” she says. “It contains one of my favorite quotes that captures the spirit of that day at the World Meeting of Families:

Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion. ... They say that it is not worth making a lifelong commitment, making a definitive decision. ... I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, I ask you to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes you are incapable of responsibility, incapable of true love. I have great confidence in you, and for this very reason, I urge you to opt for marriage. (#264) †

 

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