School has begun! Tips for students and parents on making the most of the year
Karlynn Andrews, left, and her brother Emmett Andrews, right, pose for a photo with their cousin, Ian Hartkorn, on the first day of school. The three children attend St. Barnabas School in Indianapolis. (Submitted photo)
By John Shaughnessy
As a dad and an educator, Kevin Banich knows the hopes and the dreams that parents have for their children as another school year starts.
He also knows about the strong emotional bond that connects a parent and a child, a deep bond that’s reflected in a quote from author Elizabeth Stone that he shares:
“Having a child is like having a piece of your heart walking around outside of your body.”
Banich uses that understanding as a starting point for his advice to parents at the beginning of this school year.
“Being a parent brings an incredible amount of honor, pride, pressure and stress,” says Banich, the father of two and the principal of Roncalli High School in Indianapolis. “Every phase of life for a child comes with new milestones, memories and challenges for their parents—and this remains especially true in high school.
“We often joke that there would be no need for a Dean of Students if we could just skip the sophomore year. I always remind our students, parents and even my own family to give each other grace. No one is perfect. We are called to live a life where faith and growth matter more than perfection—a life that invites us to walk with one another through the hard moments just as much as the joyful ones, drawing closer to Christ each step of the journey.”
With a touch of humor, he adds, “Luckily for me, my kids have agreed to stay small forever—although I make that deal with them every year, and they have yet to follow through with it.”
Realizing that strong bond between children and their parents, The Criterion invited Banich and two other leaders in the archdiocese to share their insights and tips in three areas as another school year is just underway:
Five key pieces of advice for parents of high school students to consider, according to Kevin Banich, principal of Roncalli High School in Indianapolis:
1. Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.
“Life is full of challenges,” says Banich, a father of two with his wife Audrey, members of St. Jude Parish in Indianapolis. “Our role is to help our children grow the strength and resilience to face those challenges—not to clear every obstacle or fight the battles for them.”
2. Let freedom ring.
“A recent survey revealed that 30% of Gen Z (people born between 1997 and 2012) had a parent attend a job interview with them. Give your child the freedom, space and independence to handle things on their own. Growth requires letting go.”
3. Failing doesn’t mean they are a failure.
“Research shows toddlers fall an average of 40 times a day as they learn to walk—more than 14,000 failed attempts a year. Let your teenager fail, too. It’s essential for their growth and development into successful adults.”
4. Focus on the journey, not the outcome.
“Celebrate effort, growth and progress more than results. Too often, we focus on what was achieved instead of appreciating what it took to get there. There’s no such thing as overnight success—despite what social media may lead our kids to believe.”
5. Go to Mass.
“That’s it. Go to Mass, as a family, every week. No excuses.”
Five key pieces of advice for high school students, according to Banich:
1. Commit to the productive struggle.
“As principal, I say this every day to our Roncalli students: The only way to grow is to commit yourself to doing something hard—every single day.”
2. Do not define your value by external factors.
“Too many students ride emotional highs and lows based on scholarships received or colleges accepted into. Your worth is not determined by a number, title or letter.”
3. Don’t chase the gold medals.
“A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.”—Cool Runnings
“Don’t believe the lie that fulfillment comes from the next award, championship, title or paycheck. It won’t. If you’re always chasing something external to feel ‘enough,’ the finish line will keep moving.”
4. Show up. Be respectful. Try your best.
“That’s the secret sauce to life. If you do those three things consistently, you will be successful.”
5. Go to Mass.
“That’s it. Go to Mass every week, no matter what. No excuses.” †
