The importance of managing online time for mental health of adults and children
By Natalie Hoefer
As a clinical psychologist and a Catholic, John Cadwallader, founder of Central Psychological Services in Indianapolis, was recently a featured expert in a U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops video called “Mental Health Roundtable on the Family” (see related article).
The video is 32 minutes. When Cadwallader spoke with The Criterion about the video, he noted that more was discussed during filming than could fit into the final cut. He particularly focused on the impact of excessive screen time on mental health and parents’ role in monitoring their children’s use of devices and the impact of that use on their children’s mental health.
Below are excerpts from the interview.
The importance of parental supervision
“Parents need to be mindful of the content their children are viewing, and to be careful that media is not raising our children. ...
“If we are not cautious and aware, attentive and conscientious to what our children are actually seeing, they will still be formed—and if it’s not by us, not by the Church, family values, etc., something will fill that gap, and that’s where media, although it can be good, can also be very problematic.
“One example is YouTube. … A lot of the feeds will insert content, which could be something inappropriate and contrary to the teachings of the Church—more illicit kinds of pictures or videos, or even pornography.
“Having different kinds of securities in place so parents can monitor [sites their children visit] I think is really important, even limiting the time they have [online], and talking with their children about [such content] in terms of safety. …
“It’s ok for parents to tell their children no. Sometimes telling them no is the most loving thing you can say, even when it’s upsetting to the child, regardless of the age. …
“We’re not in the vocational business of trying to please our children. We naturally want that, but what we’re really called to do is to love them. And part of that involves setting boundaries.”
‘It’s good to relax,’ but …
“One of the struggles of social media, or even YouTube—and this is true of all ages—is that people can lose track of time, ... and maybe they haven’t gotten their homework done, or adults haven’t gotten work done or they’ve neglected other things. It’s a form of procrastination, which can lead to other problems. …
“It’s good to relax. But sometimes when we use technology too much, it’s actually not so much about what’s enjoyable—it’s really more entering into a place that is not in the here and now.”
‘When online content disturbs your peace’
“Sometimes online content of videos or different kinds of social media feeds can actually disturb your peace, which creates more mental distress.
“When you’re done using technology for the moment of the day, do you feel more unsettled, angrier, more anxious? Do you feel despair, panic, frightened of the future, depleted? When online content disturbs your peace, then you have to ask the question, ‘What am I looking at, and is that actually good for me?’ …
“It really comes back to a question of, ‘What is God asking me to do in my life right now, in this moment, or this day, or this week?’ ”
‘Intimacy without attachment’
“There’s a phenomenon of ‘intimacy without attachment’ that’s growing. … We have access to somebody in a way that we think that we know them, but all we know is what they revealed.
“We’re all seeking to have some sense of connection. But seeing a post or a TikTok about somebody doesn’t mean we know them intimately. In the past, people came to know each other intimately through experience, through time, through knowledge. Now it’s something where things that are private are disclosed in a way that is perhaps overly revealing.
“We need to continue to reclaim the importance of real and healthy human relationships.”
Pressure to ‘respond almost immediately’
“I gave a talk at a local Catholic high school about social media and technology. ... I was really surprised to learn from them that one of their biggest struggles was anxiety.
“Part of the anxiety was the sense of responsibility they weren’t a good friend unless they respond almost immediately—whether a snap [on Snapchat], a text, a post. And that pressure follows them home. Technology can have access to you 24 hours a day—if you allow it.
“Sometimes they will leave their phones plugged in at night in their bedroom, and the backlight of the phone will come on and wake them up. So, they’re not able to get much of a sense of detachment from technology, and their brains become very adapted to needing to be online all the time.”
‘Ask them if social media is stressful’
“Parents, look at how much you are on your devices. If it’s too much, you likely have a lot of the same kinds of struggles as your children—maybe not to the same degree, but that actually gives you a sense of insider awareness of how to approach this topic with your children. …
“Ask them what their experiences are like with social media. It doesn’t have to be intrusive. Ask how they are feeling in their relationships. Ask how their use of social media affects them. … Ask them if social media is stressful for them. …
“It’s a way for parents to say, ‘The door is open, I’m inviting you to come in.’ It’s a gentle approach. There’s concern and compassion and desire to be with them, as opposed to being demanding. …
“We need to continue to reclaim the importance of real and healthy human relationships. How are parents talking with their children? How do young people talk with each other in ways in addition to technology? Most importantly, how are we talking with God in prayer?
“Some of the concerns with smartphones or even technology is that they can almost create a sense of idolatry, making those means more important than God. That can create a real challenge where the more devoted we are to technology, the less time we’re actually spending with God.” †
Related story: Bishop, local Catholic psychologist speak on family and mental health in USCCB video
Also: All are invited to Mental Health and Addiction Ministry Mass with Archbishop Thompson on Aug. 13