Be Our Guest / Ann Wolski

Navigating older age, accepting a wonderful, new ‘normal’ in life

As I get older, what once was my life is changing.

I need to adapt to this aging process to find my new “normal.” Some adjustments are frustrating and overwhelming, while others are rather exciting. Here are a few new ways of thinking that I’ve discovered to be very “freeing.”

Since my puzzle patience is fading, I’ve started doing 500-piece jigsaw puzzles instead of a 1,000 piecers. I refuse to do solid blue skies, green grass or shimmering lakes. I need lots of color and fun pictures that make me smile.

While I’ve always been a book reader, I’ve discovered a world of audio books through my library app. It definitely makes dusting (and other dirty jobs) a whole lot easier! I’ve also given myself permission to shut a book down if I don’t like it—so many books, so little time. This also applies to bad TV shows and awful movies.

I’ve been walking since my high school days. I once walked a strict 3-5 miles every day not only for exercise, but to gather my thoughts. Now my walks happen when I have a free moment. I walk as much as my legs take me or as soon as my wandering thoughts become boring.

The guilt of eating sweets used to plague me. The dream of a “perfect” figure did not include the food I loved best. I’ve accepted (mostly) my mature shape though I must admit, an occasional chocolate chip cookie is good for the soul.

On a snowy day, I would feel anxious and pace the house like a caged animal worrying about all the chores to do and errands to run. Now, give me a warm blanket, a cup of coffee, a good book and I’m one happy lady. Maybe I’ll even take a nap.

I once thought I needed to prepare a scrumptious, nutritionally balanced dinner every night. Tonight, I savored a grilled cheese sandwich. For a real treat, tomorrow night, I may chow down on a bowl of Rice Krispies.

It seems like the world is moving so fast. Just when I figure out my TV remote, some new electronic thing comes along to confuse me. Most of the time, I can get my digital world working but sometimes I admit I play the “old lady” card for additional assistance. Sneaky, yes, but it mostly works. And someday when my young helper needs to know how to use a rotary phone or write a handwritten letter, this old lady will be there.

A big change came when my boys grew up, left home and found wonderful women to marry. The feeling of not being needed—as I once was—left a little hole in my heart. But then, the phone rings. “Mom, can you babysit the grandkids?” Hallelujah! I’m still needed!

I guess what I’m figuring out is how to “navigate” older age, accepting and enjoying what life is right now. Some days are harder than others, but I’m learning and adjusting.

Now, I’m going to read my book and munch on a cookie, because I’m an old lady and this is my wonderful, new “normal.”
 

(Ann Wolski is a member of St. Matthew the Apostle Parish in Indianapolis.) †